The story behind Lies
My debut EP Lies was written over a period of several years while my husband and I went through our journey of infertility. I guess as I looked for answers, I realized it was important for me to be able to see clearly. To see through the lens of Truth. But as I progressed in my personal journey I found that sometimes, we have to chase down the lies we believe about ourselves and the world around us to more easily recognize truth. Let me tell you a little story.
These Texas summers are hot and my husband and I have had some difficulty getting the grass in our back yard to thrive. Since putting down sod in 2013, it has continued to decline slowly. About a year ago, I got a new boss... our adorable one-year-old. And my new job description includes a healthy dose of outside time every day. Woo hoo! So all spring, I've been pulling weeds almost every day in our backyard.
As I sit and pull bucket after bucket of weeds, I've noticed God talking to me. Teaching me more about the parable of the sower. I've read it in the bible many times over the course of my life, but it seems easier to understand as I physically work in my yard. Among other things, I'm learning that if we want our grass to live and thrive, we have to pull the weeds…continually. Despite our best efforts to keep them out, we can't control every bird, squirrel, and movement of the wind that brings seeds into our yard. We definitely don't need to plant them and we can't stop them from getting in.
We can nurture our lawn - water it, put down fertilizer, mow it, amend the soil - all very important things... but we will still get some weeds. We will see less weeds and they will be easier to pull out if the soil is good, but we will still need to pull weeds. And if a drought comes and we're restricted on water, our lawn is going to suffer despite our best efforts. Hopefully those droughts don't last too long, but there will always be some catch up to do after an especially hot, dry season. Bottom line - if we want a thriving lawn for the long-term, we're going to have to pull weeds.
Lies are like weeds. You don't have to invite them or plant them. They just show up. It's part of life. We can do our best to learn about and follow Jesus Christ, nurturing the good word, the good seed, but we will still need to continually identify and root out those lies that get planted in our hearts. Some will have shallow, spidery roots that break off easily so it's hard to get the whole thing out. Some are prickly and hurt your hands so you have to wear gloves. Some have one big jumbo root under a tiny-looking plant and you don't realize how massive the roots are so it breaks off in your hands and then you have to go get a shovel to dig it out which makes a massive hole in your grass. Ugh!
I have noticed that there are really just three or four kinds of weeds in our yard... there are just A LOT of them. Same thing with lies. As I've gone through this journey, I've noticed I have a few favorite lies that skew my vision and they pop up in my life in various forms. Now that I'm more aware of them, I can recognize one more quickly and pluck it out. "Quick like a cat!" (name that movie reference)
You know, a drought is a great way to describe nine years of infertility struggles. Some of these songs were about experiences from my past that I guess I still needed to process and some were about what I was going through or witnessing at the time, but it makes sense as I think about it. When we're going through a dry spell, we have to be even more diligent about identifying anything that could be distancing us from God. He is the source of living water, and during a drought, we become acutely aware of how much we need it. We don't want to be fighting for water with ugly weeds. One of the benefits of a drought is that, for those plants that survive, the roots become stronger so they can cope better in hot, dry seasons. I hope that is true for me.